My Psilocybin Backstory

Like mycelium weaving through the earth, psilocybin reconnected me to myself.

I have been exploring psilocybin with intention for over 15 years—seeking healing, connection, and a deeper understanding of myself and the world around me. Every journey has been significant. Some filled me with awe, others cracked me open in ways I wasn’t expecting. Some were gentle and restorative, others raw, intense, and life-altering. But each one has helped me grow into someone freer, more whole, and more at home in myself.

Unlike many who experiment in their teens, I wasn’t drawn to psychedelics at first. I grew up in a small Midwest city where drugs and gang violence were everywhere, and I had no interest in getting caught up in that world. I incorrectly assumed back then that "all drugs are bad" and would "lead to problems," especially for people like me who had significant childhood trauma. I had bigger plans—escape my hometown, go to college, see the world. I won a scholarship to study in Germany, got into college, and set my sights on eventually becoming a Couples & Family Therapist.

Then life threw me a curveball. While abroad in 2003, I got a severe case of mononucleosis. It wrecked my body, leaving me with lingering fatigue, Fibromyalgia, and what would later be diagnosed as multiple autoimmune conditions. At the same time, the PMDD (originally misdiagnosed as Major Depression) I had struggled with since high school became unbearable. Pharmaceuticals didn’t help. I barely made it through my first year of college. Stuck in bed, exhausted and in pain, I had nothing but time to sit with the weight of my past trauma.

Like many, I turned to alcohol to cope. When I moved to Portland in 2006, I hoped a fresh start would help. Instead, I just found new ways to escape. I worked in nightlife—cocktail serving, singing backup in bands—living what felt like a rockstar life by night and dragging myself through grad school by day. I was deeply unwell, but no one could tell. Doctors prescribed SSRIs. I underplayed how much I was drinking. The alcohol, the painkillers, it all made things worse. There were nights that scared me.

Something had to change. Then a close friend, someone I trusted, suggested I try a magic mushroom trip.

That was over 15 years ago. It was a major turning point. Psilocybin didn’t erase my struggles overnight, but it gave me something nothing else had—clarity, hope, self-compassion, and a way forward. My body, my mind, and my relationships all began to heal.

Nowadays? I no longer meet the criteria for Fibromyalgia. My autoimmune issues are gone. I stopped needing opioids for pain over a decade ago. I am much more mindful of what I put into my body and drink only on special occasions, free from the numbing cycle I was once trapped in.

Psilocybin has been a teacher, a mirror, and a guide. Paired with IFS (parts work) and somatic counseling, it helped me unravel my CPTSD in ways years of traditional talk therapy never did. It showed me where I was stuck, helped me release what I was carrying, and opened me to an unshakeable self-love I never thought possible.

Not everyone’s journey will look like mine, but I know firsthand how transformative this medicine can be. Psilocybin isn’t a shortcut, and it isn’t a magic fix—but for those willing to do the work, it can be a profound catalyst for change.

I am honored to hold space for others on this path, to offer informed guidance, safety, and support as they step into their own healing. If you feel called to explore this journey, I am here to help.